God uses the most unexpected situations to teach us more about ourselves. There's no fun way to put this. I got layed off today. It wasn't unexpected really, given the state of the economy and my status as an intern. But that didn't make it any easier. Needless to say, it sort of throws my world into a tizzy. But let's start at the beginning.
I went into work today with a very large agenda for the day. Jumped right in and was making good headway. About 10 oclock I went over to the stock room to get a part number, only to find Rachelle (the woman who does inventory) crying. She said the company had layed off 17 people this morning. Right around 11:55 I tell Christian what's going down, and how I'm surprised I'm not one of them. 12:00, I notice Linda (HR lady) heads into John's (Engineering Director) office. (Very unusual.) 12:05 John knocks on my door and asks me to come to his office for a minute. Fifteen minutes later I had said goodbye to the few people who weren't already at lunch, and was driving away.
Things I learned today:
1. Sometimes (maybe most of the time) what happens to you has nothing to do with how well or poorly you perform individually. Company policy is that whenever there are layoffs, interns have to be the first to go. No exceptions.
2. I have not yet mastered the art of completely sperating business from personal feelings. Despite being assured that they could not have been happier with how I have performed, and that it has nothing to do with me, it's still hard not to feel a bit insulted.
3. I don't like leaving things unfinished. One of the hardest things was that I was not allowed to tie up loose ends, hand off my projects to someone else, or even say goodbye to a lot of people.
4. I still haven't reconciled myself to the fact that I'm not in control. God is in control, I'm not...and that's really hard for me to fully accept.
I don't feel like spell checking...
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